How to approach women sitting down

Posted by on May 23, 2013 No comments

woman on red chair


Beautiful women can be found sitting down reading, texting, writing or just resting. These are great opportunities to meet them. I was out with my friend the other day. He and I have very different styles of game. He is a naturally high energy guy, whereas I am more low energy. He also likes to stop girls walking in the street, whereas I prefer stationary girls, whom I feel are easier logistically to approach.

So it got me thinking exactly why I prefer stationary or seated girls, and how I do it. I think it’s very easy to manage the energy of the situation because the girl is not really doing anything just sitting there, so I can come in at whatever energy level I want.

There are basically two types of game as we know: direct and indirect. For girls who are sitting down (reading a book, texting on their phone, or whatever), there are two types of approaches you can do: you can either stand and open her, or sit down next to her as you open.

Indirect standing: The girl is sitting there doing whatever she’s doing. You walk into her vicinity, maybe you have your phone out like you’re reading some text from a friend or looking at a map. You do the indirect opener, asking for the time or directions for instance. From there you transition the conversation and if it hooks, then you sit down next to her and continue chatting. Complimenting something she’s wearing also falls under the indirect heading in this scenario.

Direct standing: This one is ballsier of course. You have to walk up to her with strong intent and do the direct opener, tell her she looks nice, or she is cute, adorable, sexy, hot, beautiful, gorgeous or whatever adjective you want. Once again, transition and keep pushing the conversation forward and if it hooks, then sit down next to her and continue from there. If it doesn’t, then you can just say “have a nice day” and walk away.

Indirect sitting: This one is actually pretty tricky to pull off. On the one hand, you are sitting right next to her which conveys a lot of interest, but on the other hand, the words you are saying do not seem to be conveying interest. So there is a mismatch between your words and your actions. This is not impossible to pull off, but you will need a very strong frame and confident, powerful vibe to drill through the awkwardness she will probably feel. Also, from a woman’s perspective, if you are confident enough to sit down right next to her, then why wouldn’t you just go direct verbally as well?

Direct sitting: This is the ballsiest and the most intense. You sit down next to the girl right as you open direct. For instance, as you’re sitting you say “Hi, you look really nice. I wanted to come say hello.” Unlike the indirect sitting opener, in this case everything is aligned–your words match your actions and you are sending a clear signal to the girl. Whether she is into you or not, she will appreciate your approach because she understands why you are talking to her.

These principles also apply to girls that are leaning against a railing. You can walk over and do standing openers, or (instead of sitting) you walk over and lean against the railing next to her to open.

With the standing techniques, you can open, and if it goes nowhere, you can always walk away. But with sitting, you are conveying a lot more intent and interest, and taking a bigger risk. If she isn’t into it, then you have to either stand up and walk away when she makes it clear she’s not interested, or you will sit there in awkwardness for a while and creep her out or piss her off. If you stay, you are also just wasting time sitting next to a girl who isn’t into you, when you could keep things moving and meet new girls.

times square steps

Red Steps in Times Square

One interesting situation is a crowded area, of which there are many in New York. In these cases, total strangers sit next to each other on park benches or the steps in a plaza all the time. So this makes things a little different. It’s not totally abnormal for you to sit right next to a girl, or very close, without saying anything to her. So you can wait for a little bit, fiddling with your phone or writing something or whatever, and then open indirect. However, what will definitely not work is sitting in silence for 5 minutes and then going direct as if you just noticed a beautiful girl sitting right next to you.

Day game lessons in NYC: I always make something happen, in spite of myself

Posted by on May 18, 2013 6 comments

heels


The other day I went out with a friend of mine to do some day game at a park near my house in the city. It was a beautiful day and there were plenty of attractive girls out. Still, I was lethargic and had a lot of inertia for approaching. I did a single warmup. The warmup girl was really pretty, sitting reading something on a bench. Short skirt with nice legs. Couldn’t really get a conversation started and just spent most of the time sitting in silence next to her. She seemed pretty polite and dismissive, mostly because of my bad energy.

Then a solid approach. A gorgeous Eastern European in a very sexy outfit with tight black pants and high-heel shoes. I went in stronger, direct, and sat down next to her. And she was more receptive than the other girl. So that was a lot of progress from just one approach to the next. Conversation was much better, but still pretty lame. She had to go back to work, I suggested keeping in touch, she declined.

I just walked around and chilled in the general area aimlessly for a while.

Then something really interesting happened.

A pretty girl in a really short light summer dress exposing all kinds of leg, reading a book. I noticed her while I was walking and then sat on a bench nearby. Sat around for a while, with no intention of opening. We actually made eye contact a few times briefly. At one point she looks up and makes eye contact, I smile, she smiles back and looks down to her book. Ok, now I’ll go. I stand up, walk over, say hi and tell her she looks nice. I specifically mention that “we just made some eye contact so I wanted to come over and say hello.”

She is super receptive, very friendly and even offers me the empty chair. The conversation was easy and fun, we get to know each other, flirt and tease a little bit. I suggest going for a walk and she agrees. We keep talking, and I start a little bit of physical touching. The farthest I go physically is a gentle touch on her upper back a few times while we’re sitting on a park bench (playful/ joking context).

Eventually I look at the time and say I have to go. She’s like “do you have a deadline?” indication that she’s kind of bummed I am leaving.

I suggest that she walks with me and I show her where I live, and she agrees (cool!). However, she then asks where it is and I give her the exact location–game over. It seems too far away. I should have said “just a few minutes away” (which is true) and been a little more persistent. Nevertheless, I was satisfied with how things have gone so far and willing to end it.

We walk out of the park and exchange numbers. She’s leaving the city 2 days later for summer (she’s in school) so the best I can hope for is a quick coffee before she moves. I’m booked for much of the weekend, so it will be tough. Unfortunately, there is a LOT of this kind of transience in New York City. It makes organizing logistics very hard in some cases. Theoretically I could meet up with her months from now when she comes back, but obviously that’s irrelevant.

Moral of the story is that I took small steps, one after the other, and made something really cool happen. It’s all about baby steps. I have done so many approaches that I am just in the habit of taking one very small step after the other. And things can snowball quickly.

In just three approaches, I went from a bullshit, boring, awkward set-to-nowhere… to a romantic connection, mini instant date and a solid number close (and almost a bounce back to my place).

Importantly, not even the last set was done by the book. But even a half-assed attempt is better than none at all, if it gets you moving in the right direction. This habit of taking action will then pay off another time when you are in a much better mood with better energy.

Why am I getting more brush-offs as an advanced gamer?

Posted by on May 12, 2013 6 comments

woman rejecting man


I’ve been improving my ability to generate significant levels of comfort and connection with women in a cold approach. That means getting really present and in the moment, strong eye contact, and being open with my energy and my desire to talk with the girl.

One interesting side-effect of this is that I have encountered a higher number of women just brushing me off more or less immediately.

Why is this? Because everything in my eye contact and body language says that I intend to have a solid conversation with her. And also that I’m approaching her with romantic and sexual intent. She senses that right away. So if she is not in the mood for that, she will tell me to get lost. By contrast, for a guy who has a relatively weak presence, he is existing in a gray area where the girl is not motivated to accept him or reject him 100% right off the bat.

So just as I have had really great interactions with girls, I have also had very quick brush-offs where the girl might say “Sorry, I don’t want to talk right now.” That’s the power of polarization–it quickly and efficiently separates the girls that are interested in you from the girls that are not. You don’t spend very much time in the middle zone where you get lots of numbers, but her desire is uncertain, and therefore you get lots of flakes.

So realize that if you are at an advanced level, or getting there, and you are getting harder rejections or brush-offs than you did in the past, this is not a bug in the system, it’s a feature. Polarization is a huge part of game at the advanced level. It allows you to waste less time on dead-end leads, and focus on the girls that are exactly the right match for you. Most advanced guys (who are past getting their validation from girls smiling at them) actually embrace rejections for precisely this reason.

Using hot and cold game to your advantage

Posted by on May 11, 2013 6 comments

girl in bikini iceland


In the last post I gave a “hierarchy” of warm and cold situations to meet women.

On top of these specific venues, the more you can convey your status, identity and niche through nonverbal means (fashion, clothing and body language), the more attractive you are in a given context, other things equal. For example, at a rock concert, a guy dressed exactly in the style of that particular scene/ crowd is more attractive and has higher status than a man dressed in average clothes, assuming equal levels of everything else (looks, height, game, race, etc). Nevertheless, to a girl at that event, the guy in average clothes is still more attractive than an average guy in the street, simply by virtue of his presence at that niche event.

As far as schools (high schools, college/ university campuses), the larger the campus in terms of number of students, the colder it is. The smaller, more private, more exclusive and more elite, the warmer it is for a girl going there. Imagine a guy meeting a girl on the campus of Harvard or Cornell, vs a sprawling urban community college.

The more niche, private, exclusive, elite and unique the venue or situation, the hotter it is.

For example, an airplane ride to a very remote/ unusual place is automatically hotter than an airplane to a more common destination. The plane to Nepal is hotter than the plane to London. An American guy and girl who meet on the plane to Nepal are very likely to have a lot in common. More likely than if they met on the plane to London. And the girl knows this intuitively.

Money is itself a form of exclusivity and uniqueness (the rich are far less numerous than the poor). So the more money it takes to attend or become part of a situation (a concert, a charity function, a cruise, whatever), the hotter it is.

As far as fashion: regardless of the venue, the more well-dressed you are by the standards of that venue, the more attractive you are. So for cold street game in New York City, for example, you would want to wear a stylish fashionable outfit or a nice suit because that is the general city standard. Yet dressing in an even more niche and focused way will increase your attractiveness that much more in a setting that is more unique than the street (like the rock concert aforementioned).

And dressing very niche and cultivating a sexy stereotype will also give you an advantage when cold approaching a woman who responds to that particular look.

There is some overlap between adjacent levels. In some cases, a direct setup by a mutual friend will be as warm or warmer than a local celebrity, for instance.

I think that in the long run, warm game is the ideal form of game because of it has much higher success rate than cold game. Beginner and intermediate guys should use cold game to improve a variety of important skills like confidence, ballsiness, risk-taking, stamina, persistence and conversation skills. Then ultimately, they can take these skills into the social circle realm, improve their lifestyle, and get massive results.

Places to meet women, warm and cold game

Posted by on May 6, 2013 3 comments

girl in grocery store


There are basically two types of game: warm and cold. Warm game is where you meet women in a social circle dynamic (friends of friends, fellow students on campus and so on), and cold is where you meet a woman as a stranger (in a bar or on the street, etc). The warmer the context in which you meet a woman, the greater the likelihood you will see her on a date. This is why rock stars, movie stars and club owners are able to get sex with lots of women much more consistently than men with tiny or nonexistent social circles.

This is my working theory on the “hierarchy” of venues, ranked by how cold they are (and therefore how likely it is to produce a date). In order from the coldest to the hottest:

  • Personal ads without pictures
  • Personal ads with pictures (including Craigslist)
  • Free online dating (OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish)
  • Paid online dating (Match, eHarmony)
  • Street/ park/ public square at night
  • Street/ park/ public square in the day
  • Public transport (subway, trains, bus) and general bar/ nightclub/ lounge
  • More expensive transport (air travel, high-priced train travel) and high-end bar/ lounge
  • General retail shop or store (coffee shop, bookstore, supermarket, clothing store, etc); large concert/ performance or sporting event with mass appeal
  • Speciality retail store (specialty wine bar, coffee shop, baked goods, chocolate, tailor/ clothing store, specialty car dealership, etc), the more unique, out-of-the-way, exclusive, hidden and the less well-known, the warmer it is; small or private concert/ performance, limited or niche appeal
  • Large party thrown by mutual friends (i.e. maximum of 2-3 degrees of separation among everyone at the party), 50 people or more
  • Small, private, more exclusive party thrown by mutual friends (i.e. 1-2 degrees of separation among everyone), roughly less than 50 people
  • Private social activity among just a few friends, each with 1 degree of separation or less, 10 people or less total–dinner/ drinks with friends, etc
  • Direct setup or introduction by a mutual, trusted friend
  • Local celebrity
  • Regional/ national celebrity
  • Global celebrity (probably less than ten men in the entire world who this applies to)

The venue or situation gets progressively warmer as you go down the list. The idea is that a woman is able to feel greater comfort and connection with you as you meet her in warmer environments. I will discuss more details in the next post.

My typical game session

Posted by on May 1, 2013 6 comments

girl reading map


Recently I have been meeting women spontaneously during the course of my day a lot, without any pre-set arrangements to go out “sarging.” But I’ve found that I am still going out for a sarge session at least once a week. I go out either alone or with a friend or two. I don’t really go out with big groups of guys unless it’s a class or program I am helping with. (A “big” group I consider anything with 5 total guys or more.) I find that it is easier to get into the groove of approaching when you don’t have too many guys with you. Too many guys, and you can easily fall in the comfortable trap of just chatting and hanging out with your buddies instead of talking to women because there’s so many of you.

First things first: I’m always dressed well. I easily dress better than 90% of the people around me at any given time. In fact some of my friends make fun of me for always dressing nice, but at this point it’s just how I roll. I like to look good. Always a nice pair of shoes, usually a collared shirt, and a blazer depending how warm it is. A good outfit makes opening a stranger much easier and smoother than it otherwise would be.

I like to go out to public areas in the daytime with lots of foot traffic like public parks and shopping centers. The more shops or stores there are nearby, the better. A variety of environments is good. By far most of my success from cold approaching has come from day game, not night game.

After two or three approaches I’m warmed up. Occasionally I’m not in a good mood or groggy and no amount of approaching will get me out of the funk. But as long as I feel normal, a few approaches, small or large, is enough.

I end up doing another five to ten solid approaches roughly, not including a handful that go nowhere. A “solid” approach is where I’m able to have a conversation for at least a minute or two and exchange names. I usually don’t do any more than ten solid approaches at a time. The whole process takes maybe an hour or hour-and-a-half, depending on how hard I’m going and how long I end up spending talking to each girl.

I usually approach girls alone, almost never in groups. It’s not that I’m against approaching groups, but I prefer approaching lone girls because I can have a solid conversation and get to know her. It’s easier to build comfort and connection with one person when there isn’t a third wheel distracting. I also prefer stationary girls–sitting or standing (reading, or texting on their phone, etc). I don’t really stop girls who are moving these days. There are a lot of logistical points that need to be just right to stop a moving girl and hook the conversation. A stationary girl is easier to hook, for me at least.

As far as direct vs. indirect openers–it varies. I do a good amount of both. It really just depends on what I’m feeling in that moment when I see her. The specific amount of time I spend in each conversation varies. Mostly they last between 5 and 15 minutes. Ten minutes of solid conversation is a good goal to shoot for. After that, you aren’t doing yourself any favors and there is not much point in continuing unless you are going to bounce her or go on an instant date of some kind. One exception to this rule is if the two of you are sitting in a coffee shop working/ studying side by side, in which case there is a reason to continue sitting there for a while. But generally, after ten minutes of solid interaction, she has made her decision as to whether she wants to see you again.

Of the girls that I approach, roughly one or two eventually meet up with me in the next few days or the next week, on average. Sometimes more, sometimes less. But that’s the average result. Most weeks I’m getting a solid one to three meetups with girls. Some weeks I have less (zero). Some weeks I have more, and I have to double book girls–for example, get a coffee with one girl, and then a drink with another one later that same evening.

Overall I’m satisfied with my results these days. If I decide I want more dates I can easily approach more girls. But I don’t need or want a huge amount of dates with new girls every week. So this strategy benefits me and gets me the results I want.

A deeper voice can make you more attractive

Posted by on April 29, 2013 8 comments

guy and girl talking


A deeper voice is generally associated with masculinity and social dominance. A recent study by Duke University researchers found a real-life example of this correlation: among male CEOs of large American corporations, those with deeper voices had higher salaries and ran larger companies. This was true after adjusting for experience, education, and other factors.

Other studies suggest that men with deeper voices tend to have more sex partners than men with higher voices. They also seem to have more children in less advanced societies. Women are found to prefer deeper-voiced men for short term partners. The voice gets deeper with increased testosterone (when a boy goes through puberty for example).

So making an effort to deepen your voice can improve your attractiveness to women. You can do that by speaking from your diaphragm/ chest, instead of speaking from your nose or mouth. You can also relax your throat and relax generally when speaking to people. When you are tense or nervous, your voice tends to go up and when you are relaxed, your voice goes down slightly.

Finally, practice “rapport-breaking” tonality, as opposed to “rapport-seeking” tonality. Rapport-breaking tonality happens when your voice pitch goes down while you speak. It conveys a dominant attitude and a subconscious belief that the person you are speaking to has either equal or lower value than you.

Rapport-seeking happens when your pitch goes up. If you imagine how a lot of guys speak to women, they put women on a pedestal and their voice actually goes up in pitch when they talk to girls. They think they have to speak higher to girls than when they are speaking with their friends. Not only is this rapport-seeking, but it also feminizes your overall presentation and demeanor. Both are very unattractive traits.

Brad Branson of RSD discusses tonality here:

After making these adjustments, it’s tough to make your voice sound genuinely different from how it naturally sounds. If you do have a deep voice, then really project it and don’t hide it. It is a strength when meeting people. If you don’t have a deep voice, don’t fret. I know plenty of guys with higher voices who do very well with women. They just improve themselves, work on their game and become more attractive in other ways. And they have an advantage when talking in nightclubs.

I have found it is much easier for a deep voice to be heard in a quiet environment than in a loud night game environment. In bars and clubs where the music is loud, the bass from the sound system meshes with your voice. With a lot of bass in the background, your deeper voice gets lost and harder to hear. This is why women with high-pitched voices actually have an advantage when speaking in loud bars and clubs–their high voice contrasts with the ambient bass, so it’s slightly easier to hear what they are saying. Men with deeper voices have it tougher, but men with high-pitched voices can do verbal game effectively in these bass-heavy club environments.

What do you really want?

Posted by on April 27, 2013 4 comments

two hot girls


I think one of the key dividing lines among guys studying “game” comes down what they really want. Everyone wants more sex, but for one side, sex is the be-all and end-all, and for the other side, sex is part of a larger effort at self improvement and changing your life. The funny thing is, the more narrowly you focus on sex, the less sex you will probably get. It will always feel like work. You can develop a personal system for extracting that extra little bit of sex from every situation, but it’s always an uphill battle that high-value, powerful men don’t have to deal with.

Think about the guys who really get the most sex with the hottest women: whether movie stars, event promoters, musicians or others, they all have built a powerful lifestyle. By dedicating their lives to something real and interesting, and accomplishing something, the sex comes automatically. Women love a man who has an interesting life. They love a man who is passionate about something.

Being passionate about having lots of sex is juvenile and ultimately, unfulfilling. There has to be something more. Guys whose main goal in life is to rack up tons of notches, tend to not be very happy or satisfied in the long run. No matter how many notches they get, they will always want more. You’ve slept with 20 women? This guy has slept with 50. Slept with 100? That guru has slept with 300. It’s a never-ending, and ultimately empty pursuit.

That is not to say there is anything wrong with wanting to work on your seduction skills or improve your sex life. And there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to fuck lots of hot girls.

Dating and attraction are skills that can be learned, and beginners who have no experience can and should work on them. But just like learning how to drive is just one skill, one part of your life, learning how to attract and seduce women should be integrated into a larger lifestyle.

Because the fact of the matter is, guys who can’t get girls almost always have some kind of deeper issues going on. It could be a fear of taking risks or assuming responsibility and leadership; it could be a belief that others are more valuable and cooler than you; it could be trouble opening up and expressing emotion; or any number of things.

This is why poor skills with women almost never occur in a vacuum. You rarely have a guy who has amazing stuff going on in his life AND has a really, really hard time meeting girls. And this is why working on game and pickup almost always leads to powerful changes across your life, like the relationship with your family, your career, your social life and your health. But that requires you to have a broad outlook, where you understand that getting good with girls means getting really good at everything else.

Why did she flake?

Posted by on April 26, 2013 3 comments

hot girl down blouse


Women are emotional creatures when it comes to sex and romance. And emotions can be very fickle things. Whereas men are very simple (if she’s hot, we want to stay in touch with her and see her again), women are complicated. They can feel great about a guy one day, and then totally ambivalent about him the next. Recognizing that will help you understand women’s behavior much better, and also to keep your sanity through the process of meeting and dating girls. Here are some major reasons why a woman might flake on your texts or might flake on the date:

Too much excitement/ attraction game, not enough comfort/ connection
She was totally into you when she met you because it was an emotional high. In night game, you often have girls who are drinking, in party mode, and in a mood to have fun and do crazy things (like give their number to some dude they would never dream of going out with, or making out with a random guy who they know they will regret the next day).

I explored the idea that getting a one-night stand can be easier than getting a first date, because of the emotional power that has been built up in the moment. Once the two of you separate, that emotion dissipates. And you need to start over again at a much lower level to build enough interest to get a first date days or weeks later.

To make it more solid, you want to work on your connection and comfort game. This will reduce your flake rate dramatically because when she sees your text later, she will feel like she knows who the hell you are.

She just gave you her number to get rid of you
Women hate open conflict. They try to avoid it as much as possible. (Hence “frenemies” and the passive-aggressive behavior seen on various reality shows.) So it is much easier for them to just give you the number to avoid an argument or a dispute. Especially if she can’t really read you and she doesn’t have a good sense of how you will react to rejection, it is better for her to just nod and say “yes” to whatever you say to get out of the situation.

Something new is happening in her life
Maybe she met another guy who was even more interesting and attractive than you (could have been the same night she met you, or any time before you ask her out). Maybe she was contacted by her ex-boyfriend and all her attention is on him now. Maybe she already has a boyfriend and never had any intention of meeting up with you anyway. Or the day she met you, she was in the middle of an argument with her boyfriend, and then they made up later on.

We tend to think everything is static, where it’s just “me and her,” and how good “my game” is. But in reality, she is living her life, going to work, going to class, meeting new people, creating and ending relationships, etc. You can’t assume that she will remain exactly as she was when she happened to meet you. People change.

She was just out for validation
Women love validation and boosts to their self-esteem. Having a guy ask for her number or ask her out confirms that she is a hot girl with options. Women know (at least subconsciously) that most of their sexual attractiveness comes from the way they look. And they also know that looks are fleeting and can change. A bad night’s sleep, a few hairs out of place, a few extra pounds, and she may sense that male attention start to wane. Any guy who hits on her and gets her number gives her that reassurance that she’s still hot. Doesn’t mean she wants to see him again or sleep with him.

Understand that flakes and rejections are part of the process of finding the right girl or girls for you. Have a sense of humor about it, and keep pursuing what you want. Contrary to popular belief, most of the time, you didn’t do “one crucial thing” wrong that caused you to fuck up. Usually it’s your overall game that needs work, or it’s factors out of your control. But if a girl is really available and she likes you, she will make herself available.

The introverted man’s advantage in attraction and seduction

Posted by on April 20, 2013 3 comments

tango


Being an introvert is often assumed to be some kind of handicap or limitation to men. But this could not be further from the truth. The fact is that extraverts and introverts both have unique strengths and weaknesses in dating. In many cases, an introvert will successfully seduce a woman where an extravert fails. Here are some of the major advantages introverted men have:

Outcome independence

There is a basic level of outcome independence embedded into the introvert’s psyche. Being introverted means your energy comes from yourself. You aren’t as impressed or influenced by the external world as others. You don’t care as much about the outcome of a particular experience. Your validation naturally comes from within. As an introvert becomes more advanced in seduction, and he brings out his core identity as a man more fully, his minimal need for external validation becomes more apparent.

Self-reliance and self-direction

Introverts are automatically programmed to rely on themselves for happiness and satisfaction. In my case, I sometimes gain happiness from external experiences. But far more often, I feel true satisfaction when I accomplish something on my own–completing a piece of writing, developing a new idea or insight, creating a plan to pursue a goal, and so on. An introvert can be very satisfied on his own, with or without a woman by his side, because his inner world is so much more interesting. The fact that he has a powerful and complex life that he has built on his own is fundamentally sexy to women. A woman can easily be sucked into his world and utterly dominated by him emotionally and sexually.

Emotional depth

Emotional connection and comfort is essential for effective seduction. While an extraverted man may feel more comfortable in the excitement/ attraction phase of the process, an introvert can excel in constructing a powerful, deep connection to the girl. An introvert has a rich inner world of beliefs, ideas, experiences and passions to share with her, and he can use this to construct a solid bond. He just needs to learn to open up and share himself in a genuine way. Once he does, the results can be dramatic.

Less affected by social norms

In general, extraverted beginners have a harder time approaching, but an easier time once in conversation. For introverted beginners, it’s the opposite; they have it easier approaching, but harder in conversation. The reason for this is that introverts are less affected by social norms, which means it doesn’t bother them as much to do cold approaches. It’s usually not as big of a leap for them to break social norms by talking to a stranger. Because extraverts are more influenced and more sensitive to social norms, they have a harder time approaching. This is one area where being a bit socially dumb helps introverts. Not to say that it’s “easy”–no beginner has it easy–but it does seem to be easier for introverts on the approach.

I am certainly not saying being an extravert is bad–far from it. Extraverts have natural strengths in other areas, such as: putting themselves out there, making new friends and acquaintances more easily, grabbing attention, and stoking that initial excitement and interest from girls. But being an introvert gives a man some very clear strengths and advantages in seduction.

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